and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
