I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
