we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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