6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
