Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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