hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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