hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
