Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How external is "for external use only"?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
