I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
