I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
