susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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