physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
