i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I've blown a few things in my day
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
