So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
