she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
