apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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