Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
there was a trapeze. enough said
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
