If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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