I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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