In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
