I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
