after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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