just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
