Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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