Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
