I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
