Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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