im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
