watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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