omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
