dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
