so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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