I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
