Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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