apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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