So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
