There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
