So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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