i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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