I'm really into asian looking animals
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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