Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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