you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
