It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
