There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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