Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
