The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
