i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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