WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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