so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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