when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
thus making me awesome and them whores
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
