AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Randomize
