YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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