Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
