Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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