Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
